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Thursday, November 17, 2011

"A Biased Review" by new Staff Writer MeatPark | KFC Double Down


November 17, 2011
Written by MeatPark
Source Credits - @meatpark
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'talent network news' would like to welcome a new writer to our staff: Pittsburgh native, MeatPark, who will be providing some humorous, unique (and maybe biased) insight to our blog. You can follow MeatPark on Twitter @meatpark.

Hello everyone! You're probably wondering "Who is this guy, and what does he know about anything?" Well to answer your question, my name is Meat and I know everything about everything. My goal with these articles is to give you a VERY biased review on things that rule, and things that don't rule.

I figured that I'd start with something I know very well. Probably too well, seeing that my nickname is Meat. I went out this week and tried a KFC Double Down. If you don't know what that is, Google it. Or if you're too lazy for that (which I know you are), here's a picture:

KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
"The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there's no room for a bun!" - God

As you can see, it looks pretty tasty. And this thing totally SCREAMS America.
Fried chicken, bacon and cheese. Yes please. As I said, I ventured out to my nearest KFC to give one a try. (Just FYI, the crew and patrons of KFC on a Tuesday at 2:00pm is by no means the "A-Squad").

KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
Giddy like a school girl.
KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
I was a little upset because the cheese wasn't melted, but I got over it pretty quickly.
KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
You can see it's actually pretty big. Compared to the size of my bear-claw, you can see it's a good size; it weighed around 1.5 lbs.
KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
Try using THIS picture for your advertisements, KFC.
KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
Obesity, for Science!
REVIEW
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Presentation: 3/5
I wish that my cheese had been melted. Overall, it was pretty close to what they had advertised. It looked like two fried chicken breasts with bacon and cheese in between them.

Taste: 3/5
It tasted like two fried chicken breasts with some bacon and cheese in between them. Need I say more?

Price: 2/5
The thieves at KFC are charging $4.99 for this bad-boy. I'd rather spend that kind of scratch on 5 junior bacon cheeseburgers.

Fat-boy Filling Power: 3/5
This hefty sandwich would probably be enough to fill up a normal person. But if you're over 200 lbs, there's a good chance you'll need a side dish to help you out.

Patriotism Factor: 4.5/5
As stated above, this "sandwich" is all about America. Fried food, CHECK. Bacon, CHECK. The ability to upset PETA for the gratuitous slaughter of millions of chicken, CHECK.

Overall Score: 62%.
If you're an American and you're overweight, try this thing. I wouldn't recommend getting it on a daily basis, but it's worth it if only to discuss with your other fat friends.

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Now for those of you health nuts (and I know most of you are) screaming about how terrible this thing is for you, here's some information on the Double Down and other sandwiches that are served in this wonderful country:

KFC's Original Recipe Double Down:
540 calories, 32 g fat, 1,380 mg sodium 

McDonalds Angus Bacon and Cheese Burger:
790 calories, 39 g fat, 2,070 mg sodium

Burger King Quad Stacker:
930 calories, 65 g fat, 1,740 mg sodium (with a shocking 31g of sugar to boot) 

Wendy's Classic Triple:
970 calories, 59 g fat, 2,060 mg sodium

As you can see, the Double Down is actually BETTER for you then some of the other big-boy sandwiches that are on the market - how scary is that?

So there you have it, all the information you'll need to get out there and live like a true American. Until next time, keep living the dream.

- Meat.  

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love you.